Vancouver shipping forecast

I have a particular dislike for local poetry that basically consists of name-dropping and then automatically gets published as a result. When I was asked to write something about where I live for a class, this is what I wrote.

North Vancouver, West Vancouver: leashes, silver, glibly aspiring
West End: flirting, muscled, decaf latte, stiff breezes later
South Granville 16 to 44: boutique, fixtures, haute cuisine, gently rising
Main Street: Ironic, laptops, canvas, Mao on t-shirts
Commercial Drive: Assorted, candles, Kerouac, discreet baking, Joy Divided
Kitsilano: Sodium, picket fence graveyard
Point Grey: gouging, drapery, blissfully rectal
East Hastings: ignored, hasty, skirted, darkly pulsing.