2014 … and still stuck on the same thing

So the morning of 2014 has dawned, and, as expected, things are very much the same. There is stifling snow outside the window and most people are probably slightly hung over (which is probably the only unusual thing for a Wednesday morning). Things are much the same for me too. My new year’s resolution (or intention as some might have it) is to write a little something every day. This isn’t it, by the way. I wrote a couple of pages in my journal this morning, but I still feel that sort of thing is too personal to share. Not to denigrate anyone’s personal blog of their feelings, but this has never really been mine.

It seems I am still stuck on the same person that occupied a lot of my thoughts for 2013. Perhaps this year, things will change somehow, but I don’t really see how. As Sylvia Plath said,’each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness’. Yes, that is probably out of context. On the other hand, Herman Hesse wrote “Doesn’t your learning reveal to you that the reason why I please you and mean so much to you is because I am a kind of looking glass for you, because there’s something in me that answers you and understands you?” I think this is from Steppenwolf.

So we shall see what 2014 has to offer. Perhaps it is too early to expect change. Change is something that requires time, just like healing. Change can come from unexpected areas, and I shall try to be optimistic.


To take his own…


To take his own view of the matter, the Steppenwolf stood entirely outside the world of convention, since he had neither family life nor social ambitions. He felt himself to be single and alone, whether as a queer fellow and a hermit in poor health, or as a person removed from the common run of men by the prerogative of talents that had something of genius in them. Deliberately, he looked down upon the ordinary man and was proud that he was not one. Nevertheless his life in many aspects was thoroughly ordinary. He had money in the bank and supported poor relations. He was dressed respectably and inconspicuously, even though without particular care.