Life explosion (in a good way)

So herewithfollows the story of my random day yesterday. In the morning I was still mired in sadness at the definitive, absolute end of my romantic relationship with B. Checking my email, I was pleased to see a newsletter (I know, seems unlikely right) from one of my favourite clothing stores, Futurstate. They mentioned an industrial music festival, right here in River City… I mean Montreal. (Pool! No, I’m stopping now). One of my favourite bands, Combichrist, happens to be playing. So I signed up for tickets right away: my first big spend of the day. This perked me up so much I decided to go sex toy shopping (perhaps I’ll share what I bought later).

Later in the morning, I got an email back from a girl I used to see. That turned into a whole series of emails, which turned into us chatting online. She convinced me that I should use fetlife to try and find someone like minded to play around with, or a cuddle buddy, or someone to go to this music festival with. Fetlife is the social network for kinky people I guess. It’s generally less pointless than facebook (as there’s no games or ‘tagging’ pictures), and I have had an inactive profile on there for a while now.

Anyway, I ventured timidly into the foetid abyss that is the fetish world, and decided to join a few groups, put out an ad looking for a buddy to take to some events. As it happened, that post got deleted as I put it in the wrong place. But before I could even realize that, someone commented on my profile picture (nothing special, just me with violet hair). We exchanged a few messages, as I wasn’t sure if I knew her from Vancouver. We instantly clicked and also instantly lapsed into some fairly kinky talk. That migrated to text, then Skype, and before I knew it we were shopping for sex toys together. Random part one is that she’s coming to the Kinetik festival as well and was looking for a date. So I have a date. A date. Have I. Random part two is that she may be staying an extra week… a week which I have some days off. Fabulous.

She seems to be smart, and super cute and perky. She likes a lot of the things I like. So we’ll see if the in-person chemistry is as good as the Skype chemistry. If it is, there could well be lots of super kinky adventures for me to tell you all about. Can’t say I don’t envy you.

In other good news, I found out that me ex roommate/friend/former lover is moving to the city in the summer for school. So I will finally know someone here. Someone who is good at talking to people. Isn’t it strange how life can seem to turn around a single point so very quickly? Perhaps I should say thank you to fetlife. Thank you fetlife :p




BC – AD: Getting laid in the modern world

If there’s one thing that the last couple of weeks have taught me, it’s that C is definitely not interested in any kind of relationship with me. When someone would rather press their face into the wall than risk contact with you, that sends a sort of message (even if it’s sent from the back of their head). Received and understood.

So last night I was hanging out on messenger, and B came online. We had a talk, although if we’d been dating I’d have had to call it ‘a talk’. I’d known that it was all over for a while, but it still hurt to hear it. Of course, B being B, she wasn’t definite about anything… let’s take a look at some extracts:

7:04:47 PM Me: we hadn’t been talking much lately though so I figured we were done. am I being ridiculous?
7:05:16 PM B: no, and yes.


You can actually pinpoint the moment when my heart breaks!

7:07:50 PM Me: be honest though… do I factor into your plans for the future at all?
7:07:58 PM B: things change but we can still be close, no matter what happens though

Seems pretty clear to me…

7:15:55 PM Me: would you still want me to visit later in the year?
7:16:17 PM B: im not sure.

So that’s over. I mean, we may still be friends, but I no longer have a potential visit to look forward to, or anything else really. So B and C are definitely gone, it’s time for A and D. So if your first or last name begins in A or D, and you’d like to have cuddles/sex/a platonic relationship involving lots of poetry in the Montreal area, call 1-800-cuddles (don’t really call that number, I bet it’s some weird sex line)

So, I hear you ask, what’s my situation now in re the romantical arts? Well, this morning I went kink toy shopping and bought a bunch of toys that I will hopefully get to use with someone one day.

Metal Restraints

My number of unused sex toys is now disturbingly high. I just can’t help it. This time though, I did pick some things that I can play with alone, such as cupping equipment (super fun and not really sexual at all). 

Yes, shopping is the classic cure for the blues, and if your blues are relationship related, you can buy relationship toys! Don’t worry though, I haven’t resorted to any sort of inflatable boy/girl yet. Ha that reminds me of Billy Connolly’s tale of Sexy Sadie and Lovely Raquel. So cute, his wonder at the world of sex toys.

Aside from shopping though (and my tumultuous relationship with my credit card), I’m 100% single with no potential relationships for the first time in years. It’s a weird feeling. Let’s see if I can take this opportunity to refocus myself and shift the locus of my identity inside myself. No that’s not some kind of euphemism. What I mean is that I do things for other people. And only other people. Even the things I do for myself I do for others. For example, when I try to work out every day, or when I leave the house, I’m doing it because whoever I’m talking to would be proud of me for those things. And that’s why I work better in a relationship. It motivates me.

It’s weird because I hate relying on people for anything, to realise that I rely on other people for my emotions all the time. But then I thought.. screw that. Instead of working on those things alone, I’ll work on them while trying to get laid. Usually I don’t care about getting laid (hence not caring that I haven’t had sex in seven months), but this week I’ve been super horny. That sometimes happens when someone is teasing me, but that’s not the case right now… if anyone is teasing me I hope that she’s doing it accidentally, because I tease back and I am far better at it. Perhaps it’s all to do with spring and the mystic cycles of nature. Or perhaps it’s all the porn I’ve been watching.

Finally we come to the point then… how to get laid in a city where I don’t know anyone? The modern world has a huge number of options for meeting people, however very few of them involve actually meeting someone in person. For some reason this goes under the name of Social Networking, although I can’t think of anything less social than sending a tweet to some random person on the other side of the world. I’ve tried Craigslisting people (is that a verb?), messaging people on POF (poffing sounds filthy), and even the nearly unprecedented talking-to-people-in-second-cup (let’s call that ‘cupping’). None of these seem to have paid off in terms of new relationships, making new friends, or even a quick grope in the cafe bathrooms (coincidentally, also sometimes referred to as ‘cupping’). They have however created huge amounts of awkwardness. So huge in fact that they may be causing earthquakes on the other side of the globe.

So what next? Where does one go to either get laid or find someone new to talk to when one is an anxious person in a new city? Or should I just keep trying on the POF? TheIntrovertGirl made an interesting point, that she is sometimes convinced by people who are persistent. Bad news for me, as I am easily discouraged and I hate playing games. But I did find a girl last night on POF who might be great for me. So perhaps if she doesn’t reply, I will try again… I did go out of my comfort zone and purchase tickets to an industrial music festival this morning as well though, let’s see if I can meet anyone there!