So having C and my daughter here has been pretty much as expected: sharing a bed with C has been awkward as I thought it would be. She sleeps way over the other side of the bed and seems to treat the possibility of actually touching me as some awful plague to be avoided at all costs.
So I took the direct approach. This morning I outright asked her if sharing a bed with me was bothering her. She said that it wasn’t, and I replied that it was bothering me a little, because I felt like she was avoiding me and I was lonely in the bed. Apparently she’s just not much of a cuddler… Which is sad and it still makes me feel rejected, but it’s a little better than thinking she couldn’t stand to touch me.
We did go to get a new dress for her for the wedding today. I’ve never been shopping with a girl for an evening-type dress before, so it was an interesting new experience. I got to see her in some very impressive outfits, the one that we eventually picked was from BCBG and it was a dark green number with a gorgeous back and a slit up the side. I have to say she looked stunning. I was definitely… if not turned on then pleased to be around someone who looked that good. So I’m not really sure now if I am over her, or if it’s just that she’s a beautiful woman who I have a child with and a lot of things in common with, and it’s natural for me to be attracted to her. How do I tell which it is?