plenty of dogfish… more adventures in online dating

So after e-harmony couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed to answer the door, I decided to try Plenty Of Fish, or POF as it’s apparently known on the site. Another questionnaire, another ‘write about yourself’ thing. I’ve written many mini-autobiographies for magazines, and for my book, but I still hate those things. Should you try to be honest, or sell yourself? Be whimsical, or provide information? So I went with what I’d look for in someone: honest but whimsical. I went easy on the whimsy lest someone lose an eye or something. Also I don’t want people thinking I’m strange until maybe second date.

What I have learned so far:

  • People on online dating sites are ugly. Yes it may be hurtful but it’s true. There are a surprising amount of people I would definitely not date on the basis of looks. I have learned the hard way that physical chemistry is important.
  • People on online dating sites cannot spell. Seriously people. If you’re going to present a paragraph of text to a portion of the entire world, especially if you’re looking to fuck that portion of the world, can you not at least spell check? Do you not realize that if you say you’re looking for an ‘intellegent’ [sic] man you are unlikely to get one, except perhaps as a gynaecologist? My favourite so far is the person who said they wanted to go ‘roc-climbing’ on the first date. Now THAT is a first date with adventure.
  • People on online dating sites are boooooring. I was surprised by the first three profiles that I looked at. All so boring. Really, are you ‘open-minded, laughing, affectionnate[sic], easy going, fun, artsy’? That doesn’t describe more than a million people, maybe two million tops. ‘I tend to be easy going, can come up with things to do but after a while you’ll notice there is a pattern to what i like to do and when. ‘ Ugh I’m falling asleep while I read. That or bashing my head in with your clumsy sentences.




14 thoughts on “plenty of dogfish… more adventures in online dating

  1. Don’t feel too bad. You aren’t any luckier at on line dating than the rest of us! And, POF is free. You get what you pay for.

    • that’s true I suppose. Although I’d never consider paying for online dating, I don’t see how it would be any better. Ugly people who can’t spell need love too! Maybe I should make my own site… that’s what I usually do when I’m unhappy with what’s out there. But I have too many projects ongoing at the moment.

      • Sometimes “ugly people” have the best personalities and best hearts. They didn’t have their good looks to open doors. Lucky you weren’t born ugly or dislexic. You’d have a rough road to go.

      • I wasn’t meaning to offend anyone. And I personally haven’t ever paid much attention to appearance or body type when choosing someone to date. There has to be physical chemistry, but that’s sort of separate. Bad spelling and dyslexia are very different… bad spelling in general isn’t something that bothers me, but in a piece of writing that everyone’s going to see? It does make people look stupid. And who’s to say I’m not ugly ;)?

      • I was just giving you a hard time. Sorry. LOL. You are SO right though. One of the first things I look at is their spelling. Bad grammer and bad spelling drive me nuts. I’m a dating and relationship coach besides being a realtor for 21 years. So I was poking around on the “relationship” blogs last night for something to do.

      • no worries, I enjoy a good debate! The spelling ‘turnoff’ is a strange aspect of online dating. I guess it doesn’t really occur in the real world. There are lots of positives to online dating but so much more relies on a pre-built first impression. It’s a strange world.

      • I’m curious, how old are you? Male or female? I can’t remember what exactly your blog said.

      • You have plenty of time to meet someone. Know anything about “The Law of Attraction”? It has nothing to do with dating, really, but can be applied to it.

      • I know about Newton’s law of attraction, the attraction of a body varies as the inverse square of its distance… but somehow I doubt that’s what you mean!

      • You are correct, that is NOT what I’m talking about. The movie “The Secret” was one of the first things that came out about The Law of Attraction. Joe Vitale and Wayne Dyer are a couple of my favorites that talk about it. Google it and see what you come up with. Or, google the word “Intention” and go from there. I have had some amazing things happen by using the Law of Attraction and Intention. It works.

      • Hm. It seems a little over-simplified like all motivational speaking, but it’s a nice idea. I do agree that just wanting something doesn’t make it happen. Which is why it annoys me when people tell me ‘everything will work out ok’. Things don’t just ‘work out’, they have to be worked at in a positive way. And relationships are probably the hardest ‘grown up’ thing to work at.

      • I would agree with that. I have never been married, I’m 47 and I hate living with someone. I didn’t want to have kids, which takes away 50% of the reason to get married. Most of my life I was able to financially support myself, which takes away another 25% of the reason to be in a relationship. The older i get the more I realize, I really don’t like to compromise. I might just possibly SUCK at a relationship. They are hard!

      • they are hard! I’m not sure if I could live with a significant other, but I definitely cannot live with roommates. I need a lot of personal space/time alone. I already have a daughter, so I feel that I’ve done my procreative duty, and really the only reason for me to be in a relationship is for hugs on demand!

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