It’s obvious that the bible is dumb, if only because so many uneducated people seem to agree with it. I’ve always equated it with Jerry Springer, and it’s just as fun to poke fun at. So here goes. The book of proverbs is a good place to start.
My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them. If they say, “Come along with us; let’s lie in wait for innocent blood, let’s ambush some harmless soul; let’s swallow them alive, like the grave, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; we will get all sorts of valuable things and fill our houses with plunder; cast lots with us; we will all share the loot”— my son, do not go along with them.
Wouldn’t it be great if this was the level at which peer pressure operated?
‘Lets ambush some harmless soul and swallow them alive’.
‘Wait, I just have to consult the bible to see if that’s a good idea.’
August 31st, 2000
I am beginning to hate these people, to hear every thought loud in my head, so loud that I cannot focus on the faces. Even now the thoughts are pushing on the back of my eyes, the repeated images are a flickering projection I cannot stop. Maybe this desperation is the feeling of life creeping up on me, and not knowing where to go or what to do. Death seems so safe, so final, so silent.
I realised that I’ve been tidying to prepare for my death, and now I’m ready. I have been looking up the pills I’ve hoarded to see if what I have is enough to be sure.
August 14th, 2000
Suicide isn’t just a word anymore, I can actually imagine the aftermath. I picture a vast black emptiness, but instead of being terrifying, it is a relief. I think about it all the time, that moment of death, and every word they speak makes me long for it a little more. Every predictable act I am forced into makes me look forward to that one happy ending
August 12th, 2000
When I think of all the things I have to hide, it is probably for the best that I should remain in here.
August 9th, 2000
There is a part of me that feels there will be no change if I stay trapped in here. But it is overruled every day, and I am not leaving the house today or tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow…
March 28th, 2000 – Kuwait City
The landscape is covered with anonymous craters and scars. Some of the craters have rings around them. There are tracks on the desert, are they from tanks?
March 17th, 2000
Managed to slit my wrists quite badly. Bled lots and almost passed out, everything went purple, then black, then dwindled into a tiny pinhole. Then slowly came back. I needed 11 black stitches. Apart from that, not a bad day.