No, I don’t mean the above song (although it is fabulous, and part of the soundtrack to one of my all-time favourite movies). I also don’t intend to suggest that my favourite drug is ‘life’ or ‘chocolate’ or any bollocks like that. Instead I’m going to take you on a tour of drugs I’ve tried, and which are my favourites.
I do not know where to get these things, nor would I tell you if I did. I do not encourage drug use in general, but I believe in education.
Ok let’s start off easy with something pretty much everyone has tried. When you can’t get anything better, or maybe when you need a quick chillout, weed is ok. But it has sooo many downsides. Firstly, it smells awful and the smell gets everywhere if you smoke it. It makes you feel stupid and slow, and it dehydrates you like a huge barrel of oatcakes. [I cannot take credit for that, the original joke by Greg Proops is 'you could smoke all the dope in the world, and your mouth would not be as dry as it is after one bite of a bloody oatcake'] My apologies to anyone who doesn’t know what an oatcake is.
Let’s kick it up a bit
Ecstasy (aka MDMA)
MDMA is a close relative of speed (methamphetamine), and it is an upper. That means it fills you with energy and the need to move a lot. For a lot of people ecstasy also makes you feel happy and warm and cuddly and full of love. It’s never done that for me, just makes me hyper. I think this is because my brain chemistry is broken from being depressed all my life. Anyway, for most people ecstasy is pretty fabulous, and I encourage everyone to try it. I once drove 3 hours straight back from a rave with zero sleep thanks to the leftover effects of doing ecstasy the previous night. Nuff said.
‘E’ isn’t addictive, but it can be habit forming. I wouldn’t advise doing it more than once a month. A few other words of warning. Don’t buy e from someone you don’t know. Street ‘e’ can be adulterated with all kinds of things, most usually speed. Speed is gross if you’re expecting ecstasy. It will stop you sleeping for a long time and make you super edgy. Try to get pure MDMA powder and rail it (i.e. snort it) if you can.
Don’t share straws or snort from a rolled up bill. That is just gross.
Don’t do ‘e’ or any drug for the first time alone or with people you don’t know. No brainer. Best way to try any new drug is in a safe place with one or two people you trust.
MDA is sometimes called the ‘older brother’ of MDMA. It’s similar to MDMA but also causes slight visual disturbances, often colours in the air which can be quite pretty. Otherwise warnings and such apply the same as they do for MDMA.
GHB or ‘g’ has a reputation as a date-rape drug. This is because it’s a CNS depressant like alcohol, but acts in a slightly different way. This means that when you mix it with alcohol you get very very drunk. And very drunk = bad situation. GHB has a slightly salty taste but it’s colourless, so if your drink tastes slightly salty, maybe get another one.
Anyway, as a recreational drug without alcohol, GHB is awesome. It is a relaxant, and it makes you feel cuddly and for lots of people, sort of sexy too. It’s one of the few drugs that’s found naturally in the body (as well as in small quantities in things like red wine), and generally not nearly as bad for you as anything else. In fact, it used to be used in bodybuilding supplements because it helps build muscle.Generally it’s a liquid, but can also be a white powder.
G is easy to take as you can just mix a little with juice (it does NOT taste good by itself). 5ml is a general dose guideline, probably 3ml for a first-timer. 7ml will get you probably so high that you can’t walk right, and 10ml will probably make you throw up within 5 minutes, so it’s quite dosage sensitive.You should not drink any alcohol within 2 hours (before or after) consuming G. It also wears off quicker than alcohol, generally it’s ok to re-dose after 1.5 to 2 hours.
Since it’s a relaxant, G is good for sex (especially anal sex!) and good for countering other drugs that make you edgy such as ecstasy, lsd etc.I have my own ‘g test’. I lie on a bed, and stand up quickly. If my head spins round and round, I’m still high (don’t worry, it’s not unpleasant). If not, it’s ok to have more!
Warnings : G is not addictive for most people, but it is possible to develop an addiction if you use it a lot over a short period of time. A lot means a lot: we’re talking 48 hours continually high. Taking too much at once will make you throw up (like alcohol). Taking even more than that can put you into a deep sleep (this is called the ‘g hole’) and even more will cause coma, so doing it with responsible people and paying attention to dosage is best. ‘Bad’ G contains impurities (I forget what), that can make you sick. It also tends to taste even worse if it has these. ‘Cooked’ G is baked in an oven at 150F until it forms a powder, which removes the impurities.
LSD is the classic hallucinogen, and it can be fabulous. Personally I haven’t used it in a while, but I used to do it quite frequently. There was a period where I’d go and sit in a cafe, drop some acid, and wander around Vancouver for a while. Entertaining. Acid makes you giggly and exciteable, and will also produce visual distortions (such as seeing swirling shapes and geometrical patterns everywhere). Acid usually comes in small squares of blotting paper, as it’s a natural liquid.
Acid will make you edgy, so it’s best to counter it with alcohol, weed or GHB (but not all three!). This will relax you and prevent a bad trip. For a first time, it is super important to do it in a safe place with people you know. My first trip I was left alone for a long time and it was not pleasant.Oh also do not assume that your hit has not worked. Acid comes on very slowly, and doing more doesn’t really increase the intensity of your trip, just the duration. I’ve had lots of different acid trips, from the beautiful to the relaxing (I once went on a ‘shopping trip’ with a friend and it was so great) to the slightly scary. Setting is all important, but just be prepared with alcohol around in case it goes bad. Sleeping pills are even better. You may have weird dreams but you’ll wake up fine.
Warnings.. Contrary to what you may have heard, there’s never been a definitive case of lsd-induced psychosis. That’s not to say it’s not possible, but there has never been a documented case. Someone always knows a friend of their uncle who it happened to though, strangely. LSD is not good for you though. People who use it a lot tend to be a little like potheads and appear slightly stunned all the time, or overly twitchy. Like ecstasy, it’s a treat for christmas, not every day. LSD batches are made by dipping the blotting paper into liquid LSD, and if the dipping is not even, the dosage can be extremely variable.
2c-b (or Bromodimethoxyphenethylamine if you prefer) and its friends
2c-b is one of a series of similar synthetic hallucinogens created by…. Shulgin. Alexander Shulgin. Took me a while to remember that. The others I’ve tried are 2c-e and 2c-t-7. There’s also 2c-i. Each one has slightly different effects.
2c-b: auditory disturbances… hearing sound will be strange, sort of narrowed. Listening to music is often less fun than usual. Also lots of geometric visual distortions on this that last for a long time. Do NOT do a double dose of this like I did once, it took almost 8 hours to wear off. For an example of the sound thing, I watched lord of the rings on 2c-b and J and I noticed that there was about five minutes with no dialogue. We totally ignored the visuals. A lot of people enjoy mixing 2c-b with ecstasy, but I don’t think I’ve done this.
2c-e: The ‘all rounder’ of the group. Causes some time distortion effects (you think that hours have gone by when it’s been five minutes), some visual distortion. Not as much auditory distortion as with 2c-b.
2c-t-7: there was a case of bad 2c-t-7 distributed by an internet company that killed a few people, but that was a long time ago and the company was shut down (this was before 2c-t-7 was illegal). 2c-t-7 is the best of the group according to Shulgin, and I’m not surprised. The hallucinations I had on this were crazy. The first time I did it, I was watching Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet (I know, I know) and I had to stop once it kicked in because the visual hallucinations were so intense. They also lasted a long time too as with all the 2c group.
Warnings for all of these: same as for acid really, these are not to be done every day. Since they are naturally powders, dosage is more consistent. 2c-b generally comes in pill form, and the pills can be ground and railed. Snorting pure 2c-b hurts like nothing you have ever put in your nose.They’re also uppers in the same way as acid, so a downer is a really good idea if you don’t want to feel edgy and uncomfortable.
Nitrous (nitrous oxide/N2O)
Thanks to my friend for reminding me about this. I’ve only tried nitrous once or twice, so I don’t have much to say. It’s a similar high to GHB but it comes and goes much faster. It’s a gas, so you have to inhale it completely for it to work, which is difficult when you’re high. Nitrous doesn’t seem to have too many side effects, but something about it just doesn’t agree with me. It really knocks you down, personally it didn’t make me laugh though. Probably the easiest drug to obtain, since it’s used as a propellant in lots of aerosols (e.g. whipped cream).
Ketamine (aka k, kittens)
Ketamine is best known as an ‘animal tranquilizer’ but it’s actually an anaesthetic used in vetinary medicine. It’s also a dissociative, which means it gives you the feeling of being outside your own mind/body. To some people that’s terrifying, but to someone like me it’s amazing. Taking too much ketamine will put you into a hallucinatory dissociative state called the ‘k hole’. The hallucinations are like nothing else, mainly because you’ll find it hard to keep your eyes open. Drug users distinguish between closed-eye and open-eye hallucinations (the second being much rarer). The first time this happened to me I felt like I was flying through my own special purple universe. It was one of the best trips I’ve ever had on anything. Taking ketamine in smaller doses will make you wobbly and relaxed, like alcohol but more controlled. For this reason I wouldn’t advise mixing it with alcohol or GHB. Both will amplify the effect. One other side note: sugar will counteract the effects of ketamine, so don’t eat lots of candy when you’re high.
Warnings: ketamine is not addictive but is definitely habit-forming. It can be used every day, but probably isn’t as good for you as eating an apple every day. More fun though. Doing too much k will often give you an upset stomach (see below) which can be annoying. Eating properly before doing K will help with this a little. It also tastes fairly unpleasant so tilt your head back when you rail it so that it goes down quickly. K comes in crystal form, and the size of the crystals is a measure of quality. Small crystals are better (invisibly small is best). If it’s grainy, crush it with a pestle and mortar or between the skulls of your slain enemies.
Foxy (aka 5-meo-dipt)
Foxy is another hallucinogen, and another synthetic. But with a difference. Foxy increases your sensation of touch like nothing I’ve ever tried. This makes it the best sex drug ever. Seriously, if you can get some quality foxy and have sex on it, you’ll never have sex like it again. When J and I did it together, she said it felt like I could give her an orgasm by touching any part of her. Fun.
Like any hallucinogens, you’ll need something relaxing. There are mild to moderate visual disturbances, which I often forget about during sex! GHB mixed with foxy is a fantastic combination… relaxing and cuddly and horny all together. The same warnings apply as above for other hallucinogens. One other thing I noticed with foxy is that you build up a tolerance very quickly. P and I did it every weekend for four weeks, and by the end of it we could drop three each in a day and hardly feel it. So definitely one to save for holidays.
…a brief note on hooping
Hooping in the context of drugs is the practice of putting drugs into the rectum. This is done for two reasons. Firstly, it gets things into your blood faster and more efficiently than through the nose, and secondly it avoids the stomach, which is great for things like ketamine. If you’re going to hoop drugs, you have to mix them with a little water (not too much) and squirt it up there! The quantity you’ll need is about twice as much as for railing, but you’ll get higher, quicker. Seriously, it really really works. Any drug in powder form is suitable for hooping, although with hallucinogens I don’t advise it, as it may come on too fast for you to handle.
Phew. So there it is. I’ve done lots of drugs in my life, and my brain still fine. Work fine. Works fine. I’ve left out a few that I think don’t count (crack, coca leaves, nitrate) for various reasons. Always keen to pass on what I’ve learned to others though. Comments?
If I had to pick a top 5, it would be….
5. 2c-t-7: great hallucinations and so much easier to manage than acid
4. Ecstasy: it makes me hyper and not want to eat!
3. Foxy: best. sex. ever.
2. GHB: best cuddling drug in the world
1. Ketamine: just amazing hallucinations and an escape from reality